( she shifts away and he lets her. it’s shameful how instantly he misses the easy, thoughtless proximity. it’s ridiculous, how quickly he’s learned to crave her closeness. especially considering how badly things had fallen apart the last time he let her in. that memory is still in his mind, even now, but he’s long past pretending that he can avoid getting in deep with Elektra if he just proceeds with caution. pulling her into his arms, whispering pet names he hasn’t used in years (because they’re hers and he’s never used them on anyone else), the horrible clawing panic clamoring in his chest when she was deep in the throes of a hallucination — all of it just proved something he’d been foolish to not realize sooner.

that he loved her. maybe loved her still, despite everything. that he’d never managed to stop, even as he lived his life alone with grim certainty he’d never see her again. because she chose to leave and she chose to never come back.

he can tell she wants him to look at her, just from her posture. Matt obliges, even though he can’t really look her in the eye. there’s nothing to hide behind, no sunglasses that hide half his face, just a weary and slightly sad smile on his face. )

At first, I told myself I was wrong. The last time I thought you loved me, I was wrong. Why would it be different now? ( he was intentionally cautious, not wanting to fall into the same destructive freefall he had before. ) After... after that, I didn’t want to believe it, so I let myself pretend.

( she’s right, he has more or less ignored plenty of signs. she knows how well he can pick up on her reactions, even ones she doesn’t intend to make. all the more reason he’s curious. ) You knew I could hear it, sense it, but you never said anything.